An epiphany(Yes I do think this can be called one)

I was up thinking last night. Yea I know...same old same old. But seriously this was different thinking. I think (dont u think that is too many thinks)for the first time I was really objective.

I am guessing that most of those who read this blog have read some of the great works of literature( so that they know that I really am an amatuer) especially the ones in which you have the tragic hero facing strife all throughout his life and there is'nt always a happy ending for him.

I think I too see myself in that same mould. The tragic hero image. Only that I dont suffer through even 1% of the hardships those characters go through in their lives. Infact come to think of it my life has been pretty cushy. But me being the drama knd(cant call myself the drama queen) has to make up for this by making up slights within myself or knowingly inculcating bad habits so that I may have some hardship to strive against.

But I guess I was too successful in my endeavor. The habits are so much a part of me that they now define me. So what was in short an effort to spice things up has totally changed the flavor instead and is fast becoming unpalatable if it has'nt already gotten there yet.

I guess I can't shed that image of myself as a long suffering person who'll pass through untold grief and will stand tall when he comes out triumphant. It's as if I enjoy the suffering and the pain and that I dont want to get ahead in life cause that would mean an end to the bitching and whining sessions. I do'nt think I am into S&m or something like that but I was wondering if I actually was inviting the pain...

Surprisingly all this came to me while I was watching an episode of Caroline in the City(cute sitcom... like that character Richard...also forget the other female in the series...the one who dances in the musical Cats). Won't go into the details of the show...suffice to say that it was "nice".

Anyways looks like I'll have to grow up a bit and leave all the built up images behind. Though it was fun while it lasted....until it went out of hand that is. So guys wish me luck since I am goin to be shedding some skin here. Might let you all know how I find the real me since I doubt I know what is the real me. So that is all for now. Got to go and study guys.....advanced school and all. Will get back to u all with more blogs as and when I find time. Till then...adios amigos

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